You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
