were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
