Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
