I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
