You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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