Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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