I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
