we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
