dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
