I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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