doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
