At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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