Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
