I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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