worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
