If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize