My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
