I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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