I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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