It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize