goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
