you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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