Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
