TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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