just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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