im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just high enough for therapy.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
