OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
