I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
