Where is the hickey?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
