I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
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