It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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