you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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