How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
