sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
