so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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