I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
