First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She even gives head with a lisp.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
