covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize