Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
