how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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