You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize