Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
