Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
