I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
