I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I can't turn off my feet"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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