Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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