You work out of a Hotel?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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