i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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