Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You did what with his pubic hair?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
