I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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