drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
