I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My ATM looks so different sober.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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