you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
