my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
