ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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