question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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