this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
