I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
