Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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