Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
