Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Randomize
