You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
