I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
