i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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