thus making me awesome and them whores
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
