i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
