i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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